Airline Gouging & The Perils of Travel – By Allison Lord


By ALLISON LORD – Caribbean

It all started when I recently decided to take my elderly mother to the Caribbean islands for a well-deserved vacation.

HOWEVER, before reveling in the luxury of rest and relaxation, I had to prepare myself to deal with the endless shenanigans of today’s travel experience. I cringed at the thought.

First: call my preferred airline of more than twenty years — American Airlines.

My accented voice is greeted by an even heavier accent from a man named Habib.

For a moment I thought my call had been re-routed and I was talking to Microsoft, India.

Habib’s customer service skills are horrible. Despite my many attempts to be polite, this rude English-challenged young man is determined to ruin my day at all costs. I am now reconsidering my decision to make these travel arrangements if basking in the tropical sun, eating mangos and drinking coconut water means having to deal with the bad attitude of this idiot.

I opt for the Internet!

With my Citibank Advantage Card in hand, I peruse the American Airlines website and other websites searching for the deal of a lifetime. After two hours of precious time wasted, not to mention missing the latest episode of Dancing With The Stars, I close my browser, thinking Habib may be the way to go.

But this Habib fella doesn’t come cheap. Booking with a human being instead of a computer will cost me about as much as a five course meal at France’s Trois Gros with a couple of bottles of 1978 Burgundy red wine.

Why is it I’m starting to feel that my million-mile, lifetime gold membership means absolutely nothing?

My frustration puts me back on the world-wide web and American Airlines. I believe I have found the ultimate deal – a $450 roundtrip ticket to paradise. A steal, right? Wrong!

The only person doing any stealing around here is my estranged Uncle, Sam, who only seems to come around when I least expect him or want to see him. Thanks to him my bargain has become almost double the price. Hey Habib, want to join us in Barbados? A little vacation might help put your pessimistic mind at ease.

What’s with those taxes? Whose genius idea was it to put together this sham? Who are these suits at American Airlines, sitting in their air conditioned offices and penthouse suites? I can see it now.

Gentlemen, our board room discussion this morning is to see how we may utilize the old bait and switch routine to maximize our profits and keep our unsuspecting middle class customers still flying with us.”

What shall they give to us, their dear customers – maybe an assortment of fine wine and five-star cuisine? No! Not possible! Damn them! Coach passengers are not worthy of such elaborate commodities. A soda and maybe peanuts will do. Fine cuisine shall remain the exclusive right of the privileged ones who inhabit the first ten rows of the elitist 747.

I have just about had enough of this! In the name of airline passengers around the world, I take a stand. I do something that any passionate, law abiding American citizen who cares for this great nation would do…

I buy the tickets!

A roundtrip ticket to a smog free oasis doesn’t come cheap these days. Hey, don’t hate the player; hate the game.

Before even stepping foot on the glorious white sand beaches of the all-inclusive resort awaiting me in paradise, I have already watched the contents of my savings account begin to evaporate. Oh darn — gas money to get to the airport; airport parking; those vultures that slyly whisk your bags away, expecting a financial reward for their good deed.

Just as I anticipate, we arrive at the airport to be greeted by a knight in shining armor, Jerome (whom I believe is referred to as a skycap), who skillfully loads our baggage for the trek to the check-in counter. Another dear Lord, Tony, swiftly wheels my elderly mother in a wheelchair. What would we do without these ingenious souls? The wizard sure did well this time sending me these mere mortals who come from the fantastical world of TIP. Oh TIP, what a splendid place! A hidden mountainous city located somewhere behind the five and the ten that resides in my pocketbook, where these pleasant “knights” with beaming smiles are rewarded for their generous “hospitality.”

After my brief encounter with the hungry kind, I am brought before an interesting damsel named Tiffany.

Deplorable attitude? Check. Annoying presumptuous hairstyle with bangs that cover a preposterously large dome for a forehead? Check. Her need for prestige, notoriety, with a false sense of pride and accomplishment annoys me. Oh, it’s Nancy Grace! But what on earth is this antagonizing disgruntled little shrew doing working behind an American Airlines counter?

Tiffany takes one look at my luggage and I can see the fangs right next to her humongous incisors begin to perk.

Hah! I spit on you and your overweight baggage, Tiffany’s expression says.

Well, well, Miss Tiffany, it seems that you may carry some baggage of your own. By the way, I am a permanent gold member, just so you know.

Tiffany laughs in the face of my gold membership card.

No more luggage for free, not anymore!” she yells. “You are allowed two pieces up to 50lbs. each,” (And because the airlines have cut the weight of the suitcases by about half and the empty suitcases themselves weigh a lot) “even half a pound extra you must pay for, gold member or not!”

Why had Habib not even mentioned this to me on the phone?

Who knows? Maybe he did. Behind his thick full accent and his creative approach to the English language, I may have missed it.

Our conversation was about as clear to me as a discussion on nuclear arms between Little Wayne and Mahmoud Ahmadinnerjacket.

The moment of truth set upon me.  I am only allowed two pieces and I have three.

I’ve been such a fool to believe that my suitcases would forever fly the friendly skies with me for free.

I watch the malicious gleam in Tiffany’s eyes as I reach into my purse to give this jikka what she so desires – $100 in gold nuggets. With her inflated ego well fed, she leaves me alone, on to her next victim.

After leaving Tiffany’s kingdom, we are one step closer to the big bird that’s going to fly us off to passionate bliss.

Enter TSA, which really stands for THIS SH** AGAIN!!

They dig through my mother’s medicine bag, checking the bottles as if the total destruction of mankind lies in them.

“This is heart medication.” “What’s in it?” “How the hell am I supposed to know?” I am not the FDA, but I do believe it meets your limit of three ounces for liquid content.”

My elderly mother gets frisked more than an intern during President Clinton’s administration. The old lady gets more action during her screening than she has gotten in almost fifty years. Watch the wand, buddy. This is my mother’s innocence you are playing with.

That lanky man with the funny name began all of this. Osama Bin Laden! How did I get lumped in with this egotistical clown who relies on launching bombs and missiles into buildings to make up for his inferiority complex about his own shortcomings?

The bearded man and the United States fell out years ago. It was an argument over camels.

“Look President Bush. YOUR Camels are part of a billion dollar industry that leads to the demise of millions of American every year. They contain cancer causing toxins that leave Americans susceptible to illness and death.”

“You’re wrong Osama. It’s YOUR camels that transport terrorists who cause death to Americans!”

And so the rift began…

So you say Osama caused this inconvenience to all the travelers who fly your airlines. I say, Osama is responsible for the initial start of this fiasco but remember, you are the ones who let those killers on your flights in the first place!

Alas, we are all cleared to takeoff… to the gate. We continue to the next phase of the perils of travel. My mother is left basking in the afterglow of her TSA experience. I am left dehydrated.

Before I get to the gate, I stop to buy a $3 bottle of water and a $15 hamburger for my mom to eat on the plane. As we wait at the gate, I look around and my eyes see other unhappy participants who have also been molested by the invasive hands of the TSA. They too cannot wait to leave the experience behind them, until, of course…the trip back.

We board. We sit in our cramped designated seats.

May I have a blanket and a pillow ma’am? I’m handed a package, including a headset for $5, thank you very much.  I get a ‘Mini Me’ bath towel that is too small to cover any part of the body to be comfortable or to endure the cold airplane. I try to pull the tiny piece of fabric over me and get comfortable.

The food cart bypasses me on its way to the first class cabin. Okay, if you must transport the food the entire length of the plane, past all the people for whom it is not intended, why not just store the goodies in First Class, for heaven’s sake! I’m starving at this point. I have two choices, stay hungry or take a bite out of my mother’s burger. I opt for the latter.

I am also thirsty. With my money out, I am ready to pay. The flight attendant says, ‘it’s free.’ Ah! Finally, something free after all the money I have spent so far. She opens the can and pours a miniscule amount of a beverage into a full glass of ice. Oh well, its better than nothing, it’s free.

I wonder if breast feeding mothers can bring bottled breast milk on board the plane or do they have to pump in-flight? Would they be accused of ‘indecent exposure?’ Hmm. Well, maybe if they remained seated. We wouldn’t want to cause a disturbance with the air marshals now, would we.

I reach for my carry-on to retrieve one of the several items I usually carry to counter the boredom of flying and help me escape the reality of sitting thirty five thousand feet up in the air, with absolutely nothing to do.

Besides my laptop, solitaire playing cards, books and crossword puzzles, my bag also contains necessities, which most travelers pack in case of emergency.

But according to some airlines, there will now be a another “little” charge to passengers for carry-ons — a luxury few of us will be able to afford in the future.

Now, that the airlines have effectively taken all the fun out of travel:

BE SURE to check this list before you decide to fly:

  • If you buy a ticket over the telephone, you pay extra
  • For comfort (more legroom), you pay extra
  • Extra taxes are tagged onto your ticket
  • Baggage weight allowance has been cut in almost half
  • All baggage has to be paid for and if overweight, you pay extra
  • No shoes until you pass TSA
  • No liquids, limited toiletries
  • No standing or walking in the aisles, even though you have DVT
  • No more complimentary meals
  • No laughter, carousing or joking around with your friends
  • No talking to or making jokes with the flight attendants, in fact don’t engage anyone on the plane in conversation for fear they call the Captain, who will in turn, turn the plane around and call the FBI, who in turn will call the police.

And no doubt, coming soon to an airline near you – no free use of the toilets. So have your quarters ready.

Happy travels!

106 Responses to “Airline Gouging & The Perils of Travel – By Allison Lord”

  1. Freda St. P. says:

    This is good shit. I love reading this article. It is so on the button. Yes, people, the airlines keep shoving down p**p down our throats and we just swallow without asking questions or fight back. I am not traveling more than i necessarily have to anymore because all of the above. Wheres the fun in traveling these days? And on the return from your splendid vacation you have to deal with the racists at Immigration and Customs. Remember do not get too tanned for that will be your demise.

  2. Sean says:

    LMFAO!! THIS IS HILARIOS. TSA (THIS SH** AGAIN) HAHAHAHAHAHA

  3. RogerM says:

    someone should come up with an airline that’s only for the middle class people, e.g years ago we People’s Express Airlines and leave the upper class to the greedy airlines.

  4. Jack B Deligny says:

    Very funny blog. I like your style and I am in total agreement with your article.

    As a foreigner it irks me to see the people lining up at the airport to pay for bag fees. Before I thought Americans were strong. I used to admire that. Now I see them are pussy cats with no teeth. The airlines are doing whatever they want and they are taking it without a fight. If everyone on those lines refused to pay extra for their bags the airlines would have no power. Americans need to take their power back. Keep up the good work on this blog, I enjoy reading it.

  5. Guy says:

    American Airlines pisses me off. I will never travel on that airline.They are the worst. I rather walk or take a camel. :-)

  6. Fanny N. says:

    AA – American Airlines – Always Aggravation – Angry A**h***s – Annoying Airheads. I could go on and on.

  7. Veronica Williams says:

    Given what’s happening in Arizona now it’s crucial for us to speak out and denounce what’s happening with those airlines. Stop flying and take a train a boat or drive where possible.

  8. A. Blake says:

    you should talk about being forced to leave our bags unlocked and the workers stealing our stuff.

  9. Thom says:

    Love the checklist and thats cute and all but seriously it’s time to come together and show that we will not take anymore shit to travel.

  10. Lewis says:

    I will not be traveling any time soon. I used o enjoy traveling before but not any more I prefer to stick around here. There are plenty of beautiful places to go here without having use those airlines and pay those exorbitant fees

  11. Anne says:

    TSA =That sh*t Again. Thats funny and right. Great!

  12. Tony J. says:

    You wrote about a subject that really is touchy for me but the way you wrote it made me laugh and made me forget for a minute why I choose not to travel any more. That is until the end of your blog. Some months ago I had a bad experience with a flight attendant and I haven’t traveled since. I was almost arrested just for asking a simple question. So you hit all the key points of annoyance (in a humorous way). The flight attendants have taken their jobs way too seriously and have too much power these days. I haven’t had a need to travel lately but I will cringe like you when I have no choice but to board a flight. That is if I am not on the ‘do not allow’ list. Great blog.

  13. BigGal says:

    I wish you had talked about the airlines descrimination against fat people. I have to buy 2 tickets every time I travel and that is not fair. what do you think of that.

  14. Ashton L. says:

    I remember a time when the customer was always right. Now customer service no longer exist because it’s a luxury the airlines can no longer afford to give to customers just like a decent meal.

  15. Andromeda1111 says:

    What matters is not where I come from but where I go, I get the first flight to take me where want and then I manage

  16. Sandra G says:

    I remember the days when flying was glamorous. Now we are being treated like cattle and pay top dollars for it. The minute you complain, they believe you a terrorist, teaze you, jail you, and put you a no fly list.

  17. Tyra T. says:

    how about the endless waiting on the tarmac and no explanation. thank God that’s no longer allowed. but the airlines have become very arrogant and it’s time we rebelled where it counts. with our $$$.

  18. Carl says:

    I laughed so much reading this blog but isn’t the camel joke just a little bit racist? NOT! LOL. Anything against Osama is funny. :-)

  19. Daniel C. says:

    No need to ask for a supervisor. They are the worst. No help there.

  20. Micheline says:

    That’s travel and life for you in teh 21st century. we have opinions on everybody’s business but we have no balls to actually do something about the things that affect our lives and pocketbook. I’m guilty too but what to do. btw your blog was very funny. great sense of humor.

  21. Lakita in Indiana says:

    Hooray to the airlines, they finally did something right for the people. They got that guy who tried to harm Americans in New York. Hooray!Hooray! BTW Allison, I love your blog.

  22. Tyad says:

    Too bad we’ve become a nation of ignoramuses that will NOT stand up for ourselves anymore. We are screwed every which way by the airlines and we still bend over for more abuse.

  23. Jan Mitchell says:

    Airline reform is what’s needed next in this country right after immigration. The airline indusry is making tons of profit while passengers are suffering. We need a Jan Brower to take on the airlines. Love the post.

  24. DREW says:

    LOOOOOOOVVVVVE this post. laughed till my sides hurt. :-)

  25. Pam G. says:

    to BigGal fat people SHOULD pay for two tickets if they take up two seats. should I pay half price for my skinny ass? the airlines don’t think so. no sympathy here.

  26. Earth Guy says:

    The capture of the Times Square terrorist gave me more confidence in the airlines and FAA to travel again. The airlines generally suck and is everything you write about in this blog but it’s all we have for now. Funny post though. Very funny.

  27. Sandra: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

    I am watching Jay Leno and Don Cheadle is on. He’s recounting a great “not-so-great” experience he had with one of our airlines. The arrogance and rudeness we have to endure with airline travel, not to mention the ever present threat of the FBI being called in to haul you off just for asking a question, is past ridiculous. I found your article dealt very well with the annoyances that come with the purchase of an airline ticket. It was well-written and extremely funny.

  28. Charlotte's Web says:

    Is there a part two to your article? Because there is much you did not address such as discrimination against fat people and the latest terrorist threats.

  29. Miranda W. says:

    The airlines are a mess and so are the people who use them. Maybe there will soon be an alternative.

  30. Alfred S. says:

    I just stumbled on this blog and I can’t believe its exactly what I have just gone through. I’m on my way to go visit my mom in New Jersey for Mother’s Day. Only thing is your blog is way funnier than my experience. My plane is late and I’m definitely not looking forward to the long trip with cheap sandwiches for sale. Boy I need a drink! It’s only 12 noon. Oh well. lol.

  31. Soul says:

    Didn’t Obama say he would build a high speed rail system like the ones in Europe. Now is the time. We really need it Mr. Obama

  32. Natasha says:

    I disagree with the airlines charging passengers for an extra seat if they are fat. I think they are veery insensitive. There are people out there who have medical conditions and have no control over their weight. Its not like that uneducated lady who is trying to get to 1000lbs. with no regard or respect for herself, her children, the hospitals, medical staff and the public.

    • JUST IN TIME says:

      I totally agree with you. That woman who wants to get to 1000 pounds needs to have her head examined. Now, if fat people have to pay for two seats then I think its only fair that skinny people pay less. I hate those insensitive bastards at the airlines. I wish we could send a blunt clear message to them – boycott maybe?

  33. Givenchy says:

    I say boycott the airlines.

  34. Bill says:

    I just don’t think the airlines realize who carry their purses. Its not the rich, they have private jets, its not the poor citizens they cannot afford it so open your eyes middle class citizens, its your money that is carry them.

  35. jake says:

    the sheep continue to line up at the airports for those at the counters to take their hard earn money in the baggage fees. This is so wrong.

  36. J. Molina says:

    I love your blog. Keep up the good work. You gals are so dead on. Happy Mother’s Day.

  37. Laurie says:

    Allison you did not bash the airlines enough. I want the whole world to see the unfairness of the airlines and the way they treat their customers.

  38. Jacqueline says:

    Have you ever thought of the miles you use to travel? e.g. when you use your credit card to buy a car and then use those miles to get a ticket, have you thought of how much you just paid for a ticket?

  39. Justin says:

    It is sad what these airlines put the elderly people through. I watch them at the airport and I swear most of those fools do not have mothers or fathers. In fact there is no respect for the elderly period.

  40. Tom Zaks says:

    Allison can you tell me where are the places you have traveled. Your travels sound exciting.

  41. Cafe Latte Sssweet says:

    I think my traveling partner is more important than the airlines gouging.

  42. Goldilocks says:

    I love your pictures, is the place with the today and yesterday the Fiji Islands. If yes, which part?

  43. LT says:

    The airlines have to make their money somehow. The real culprit is high oil prices.

  44. Tawan says:

    This sh*t again, I luv it.

  45. Jasmine Rhuel says:

    This is a VERY entertaining blog. I love all the articles.I hope this article gets to ALL the airlines.

  46. BGI says:

    I think the way we live now in this society is like pimps and whores. We work and the pimps, who profess they are protecting and looking out for our interest, are standing in line waiting to take our hard earned monies from us. Uncle Sam, Aunty Sam and Cousin Sam. Its all about profit, its all about the money. it is up to us to protect ourselves and give our money to those who truly are looking out for us, which are few and certainly not the airlines. The airlines are the biggest pimps. Think!

  47. Lisa R. says:

    Allison you are right on. I enjoyed reading your article, I was on the floor hysterical with laughter. Keep the humor coming.

  48. Joycie says:

    The airlines are just a mirror of what’s happening in America today. Remember we the customers have no rights anywhere and everywhere now.

  49. CM Vincent says:

    I think the airlines should charge skinny people and children half the fares
    because not all of us are the same size.

  50. Skimpy says:

    A million mile flyer with American Airlines! WOW! It that true?

  51. J. Nilon says:

    I have traveled extensively too and all the flight attendance I have encountered have been very rude, to me and others. I have limited my travels now and the few times I have traveled I have the trains or bus service. They are both great besides you get to see the scenery.

  52. Phoenix Rising says:

    You are extremely funny. should be writing for south park or family guy or one of those crazy but funny shows.

  53. Jonathan B. says:

    Your post is funny but accurate. High ticket prices. No food, Earlier check ins. Penalties for change tickets. No leg room. Bad attitude from the attendants. Now carry on fees. Absolutely right about the toilet use fees coming soon. I hope they are ready for aisle use. I say rethink traveling on those airlines unless they are willing to be at least civil to us.

  54. Lydia says:

    I used to like flying on Southwest but not anymore. Bad experience. Their new logo should be “you get what you pay for”.

  55. Julia in Connecticut says:

    I do believe the fees are coming for the toilet use. It is only a matter of time for the carry on fees to in place by ALL the airlines.

  56. Ronoldo says:

    OBL really have us as hostage in our own country on our own soil.

  57. Alina says:

    I really do hate when I call Microsoft or Travelocity and get those Indians or Pakistanis who has those heavy accents that I cannot understand. Most times I just hang up and I am not a racist. I understand what you went through when you were trying to book your tickets with the airlines.

  58. L. Berman says:

    If the airlines start to charge for the use of the toilets I will never fly again.

  59. Shari says:

    Was it really Nancy Grace at the airline counter? Was she really checking people in? I wish I was there on that day to see that witch.

  60. Jeffrey Fischer says:

    Love the blog. By the way am in love with the Caribbean Islands. I have been to your island many times. I love the people and the island, it is beautiful and I am wishing to retire there.

  61. Jeannie James says:

    It is really nice of you to travel with your elderly mom. There are not many young people who like being around their parents, in fact society has taught them to be ashamed to be seen with their parents. I am from the Caribbean and I know the strengths we were raised with. I admire you.

  62. Benjy says:

    a good fun read.

  63. Harold P. says:

    Ah I remember the days when the airlines had beautiful young flight attendants, those days we called them Air Hostess then Stewardess now because males decided to jump on the band wagon they are now called Flight Attendants.
    Where are all the beautiful people who used to attend to us during our flights. BRING THEM BACK. The old hags do not have the patience or the attitude to deal rationally with us.GET RID OF THEM.

  64. Brandon says:

    Allison, as a permanent gold member on American Airlines you don’t seem to get special treatment they treat you like sh*t like all the rest of us,

  65. H. Hogan says:

    To all the airlines. So you say Osama caused this inconvenience to all the travelers who fly your airlines. I say, Osama is responsible for the initial start of this fiasco but remember, you are the ones that let those killers on your flights in the first place! Greedy bastards!

  66. Mick Fallon says:

    To change our tickets we have to pay a change fee, we have to pay for the difference on a new ticket, we have to pay for our bags, we pay and pay and pay and pay BUT what are the airlines paying for… NADA.

  67. Donald Stump says:

    Here’s an idea. Boycott the airlines and start with all flights to AZ.

  68. Candy says:

    Allison, I love your style of writing. It’s biting and blunt and fun to read. It gave me more than a few chuckles. I’ll remember this article everytime I fly. Well done.

  69. Jimmy Miller says:

    Now, that the airlines have effectively taken all the fun out of travel, what’s next? Oh yeah we get to see our naked selves on the body scanner. No, THEY get to see our naked selves on the body scanner. What a treat. Isnt’t there something pornographic about this concept? We should all put on something really ‘special’ as in grossly exaggerated physical enhancements to shock the crap out of them as we go through the scanner. We deserve the laughs don’t you think? :-)

  70. Vammie says:

    Allison I know you have traveled a lot and from your article I know you don’t really care for the airlines but I would like to know which airline you really prefer?

  71. B. Stone says:

    You are forgetting the airlines secutiry is for our protection. Instead of complaining we should all be thankful. I for one dont have a problem with pulling aside anyone that looks like a terrorist and sweep them clean.

  72. Bieto says:

    I hate the flying, thats why I take the train or bus. No hassle and its always a pleasant ride. I rather stay home than fly.

  73. Y. Oviedo says:

    LMAO with this article. You’ve done it again Allison and what you say is true. Keep up the good work.

  74. Aila says:

    The thing that really gets me is the leg room. seems to me that the leg space is getting cram-pier by the minute and now you aren’t even allowed to stretch in the isles before handcuffs are put on you. I loved your article and read it all the way through.

  75. Kathy says:

    TSA-This shit again. Love it! No hats, no jackets, no shoes, no computers, no liquids, no apple sauce, no more than one carry on, no belts, no SHIT.

  76. Leah Wilkes says:

    your a good person to take your mom on vacation. that makes you tops in my book. :-)

  77. Alice C. says:

    thanx 4 the travel checklist. definitely worth keeping.

  78. J. Sandor says:

    Power has gone to the flight attendants head. They are really no more than waiters, cleaning ladies and janitors but boy they can really show off with their new power. I can’t stand them and say as little to them as possible before they jack me up and call the feds on me. Flying is a chore that I don’t enjoy. But your blog is funny.

  79. Chelsea says:

    You should’ve talked more about the airline discrimination against fat people. Otherwise a fun enjoyable post.

  80. Alexander says:

    It sucks the way those people at the airline counters treat flying customers. Let’s face it, these are the last sorry assed people passengers see before they board the flight. And once you board, anything can happen. I wonder how the people who checked those people in on the Libyan flight feel right now. Were they nice to the people who perished on that flight and I wonder if those who died had a bad or good experience with those who checked them in at the airport. I also wonder how were the flight attendants attitudes to the people on board before they crashed. I wonder, I wonder, I wonder. Hmm. Why dont we all just be nice.

  81. Caribbean Bro says:

    Allison, you and your sister are definitely Caribbean chicks. You tell it like it is. I enjoy reading your blog.

  82. The Skinny says:

    Yeah yeah yeah. The airlines SUCKS, but what is the alternative?

  83. Coops says:

    The day they tag on the carry on fees I will never fly again. Amtrak, Metrolink, Greyhound and the others will do just fine. And if the toilet use fees happen first, then that’s just proof that these airlines are full of shit. :-)

  84. Pundy says:

    That was so sad about the Libyan crash but out of this bad came an angel. One child was saved and that was truly a miracle.

  85. Vegas says:

    The government should just take over the airlines.

  86. bandaid says:

    That kid who survived that Libyan air crash is blessed. My heart aches for him. I don’t know why God spared his life, but we should keep a close eye on him and keep him in prayer.

  87. texasjane says:

    What a bummer the Libyan crash! I was just getting over my fear of flying.

    To avidreader, that’s a racist comment about the Middle Eastern people. We have had blond blue-eyed American terrorists. Just remember Oklahoma.

  88. avidreader says:

    We haven’t progressed far from the security checks of 2001. Airline passengers still face long lines as Shampoo, suntan lotion, toothpaste, and even makeup are in my candid opinion unnecesarrily removed from our carry-on luggage. The terrorists must be laughing their heads off at the fear they have instilled in us and we still have them coming in. I’m not racist but anytime I see a middle easterner at the airport I get REALLY nervous even if there are no camels around. I’m being funny but it’s a real fear.

  89. Cassy says:

    See, thats what I am talking about. Those poor people did not know that that was their last trip. The airlines need to be more civil to their customers.

  90. darius says:

    after times square terrorist, am more afraid now of flying more than ever. ,

  91. cberkford says:

    We still have to fly, the only thing is which airline. I agree with you Allison, all airlines give the same shit.

  92. Holly says:

    happy the airlines were losing money from the iceland volcano, but realize they are just going to pass the loss to us. here comes that toilet fee. :-(

  93. mimosa says:

    Great blog, great articles, great bloggers. Keep up the good work.

  94. bobbisox says:

    if you think LA is bad as a person of color u should definatley avoid flying through Arizona. lol.

  95. iBad says:

    I do not like flying and I sure as hell do not like any of the airlines. They are all the same scammers.

  96. jewel says:

    I’ve got news for you Allison, your “million-mile, lifetime gold membership” means absolutely nothing these days, courtesy of airline scamming. Get over it.

  97. larry says:

    I had a strange experience going through security the ohter day. I kept beeping and beeping. I took out my belt, shoes, keys, everything. So I had to get the wand like your mama did. It was my gold tooth! Go figure. They all laughed, but I wasn’t laughing. Afterward when I sat on the plane, I cracked up and everyone looked at me like I was going mad. But then I really saw how funny that was. I wasn’t treated bad or anything they were doing their job. I just wanted to give you a holler, share my funny story and tell you I like your blog.

  98. george says:

    Any time I purchase an E ticket I get pulled over for further checking especially if I change my flight schedule. It’s just somehting I noticed.

  99. ironmask says:

    Khadafi wasn’t on the flight? Hehehe.

  100. P.Tracey says:

    To Harold P and your sexist comment. Missing the beautiful flight attendants from before just shows that you are a loser. I’m sure you must be ugly like hell to say such a stupid goofy thing like that. Get a life. To Allison, you did a great job on this post but there must be a way to delete stupid comments from people like hairy harry. ugh!

  101. sunshinegirl says:

    What a fantastic post! I laughed till my cheeks hurt. I just loved reading it. Loved the camel play on words, TSA (This Shit Again), the food price gouging and just about everything about this one. A great way to end my night. Great, great blog and fabulous true account of travel these days. A fan.

  102. Fabrich says:

    I hate, hate, HATE all the fees we have to pay to fly. Its just not right. I have to go into debt to take a decent vacation with my family. Enough already as my kids say something needs to be done.

  103. L.Ling says:

    If you believe in karma as I do, so when I get a person on the phone, or meet them in person, and most especially at the ticket counter at the airport and they treat me bad for no reason I tell them my wish for them is to be treat the same way by someone else, plain and simple. If everyone will do that, I think they will think twice about being rude to customers.

  104. Britt says:

    So true these check in staff have bad attitudes. I could understand if the overweight fees went into their pockets, but it doesn’t. No they embarrass people making them take out a pair of jeans or shoes in front of the other passengers just because their bag is a pound or two over. They need a serious adjustment or class in hospitality infact the airline industry needs a complete overhaul. But the Nancy Grace was a nice touch and made it a very, very funny post.

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