Not Even with a Rose Petal-by Sandra G.

By Guest Blogger: SANDRA GLUSCHANKOFF – Argentinian

“A la mujer no se la toca ni con el pétalo de una rosa”. “A woman should not be touched, not even with a rose petal”.

This old saying which is very popular in my country, Argentina, was the first thing that came to my mind as soon as I learned of the sudden disappearance of seventeen year old, Chelsea King: the high school senior in San Diego, who went for a jog and never came back.

Unfortunately, as we all know by now, Chelsea’s body was discovered a few days following her disappearance, buried next to Lake Hodges in San Diego County.

The police apprehended the suspect John Gardner, a convicted sex offender, long before her body was found. How did the police know about him? John Gardner was convicted in the year 2000 for sexual abuse and false imprisonment of his 13 year-old neighbor.

Like the law dictates, this savage, who preyed like a hungry beast in the jungle, was entitled to a fair trial, fair for him but not for the victim. Even though the recommendation of the District Attorney was a ten-year prison term, he was sentenced to six years, only served five, then set free into our neighborhood. Did you know that a sex offender in our country serves an average of 90 months in prison? Yeah, you got it right – about 7.5 years.

I sit at my computer and cannot help but feel sick.  Did the unscrupulous defense attorney really believe that getting a rapist a reduced sentence was going to add brownie points to his resume?

As a mother and citizen, I’m disgusted with the attorneys and judge who supported it. Did these geniuses really think that this monster, who showed no remorse or even admitted any responsibility for his actions – according to the psychology report done by Dr. Carroll in 2000 – was not going to attack again? Would they let John Gardner babysit their children? Would either of them consider moving next door to him or invite him to a Sunday barbeque? No, right? I didn’t think so. He was released to roam the streets where our children play, looking for prey, found Chelsea and he did it again.

John Gardner should have never had a second chance, he should have had his balls cut off and then sentenced to death immediately. Sadly, he wasn’t. The judge and the defense attorney should make up for it and volunteer to have their balls cut off, since there is no way that they can go back on their decision or look Chelsea’s parents in the eyes or hand over their daughter back to them, alive.

Unfortunately, Chelsea’s story is another statistic in the increased violent acts against women and children.

Last week, I was asked to write a letter vouching for the sane character of a friend of mine, in order for her to get a restraining order against her former fiancée – after he beat her senseless on their way back from what was supposed to have been a lovely day in Ensenada, Mexico.

Apparently, the black and blue bruises around her eyes and arms were not enough evidence. She was forced to hire an attorney, and just like a girl scout selling cookies, she had to make the rounds, under utter humiliation, asking for letters of recommendation, as if she were applying for a job. What a shame! Worst of all, while she fears for her safety and that of her children, he sits back in his office with his feet propped up on his desk and is free of any wrongdoing.

Many of you might be asking yourselves, how is that possible?  The coward beat her up in the car while driving back from Mexico; the Mexican authorities did not want to intercede; in fact, they kicked them out of Mexico and rushed them through the border, washing their hands clean of the issue.

Unfortunately, the eyes of the world are blind to domestic violence.

In 2001, Jason Kidd, NBA star, struck his pregnant wife (reportedly not for the first time) during a domestic argument. He was never imprisoned for it; he was not banned from ever playing in the NBA due to his aggressive behavior. In fact, he was rewarded the same year with the MVP (most valuable player) nomination, in which he came in second. I guess giving such an award to a wife beater would have been a little bit much. Give me a break! Having a guy like that on the basketball court is no different than having John Gardner as your next door neighbor. And these are the kinds of people our kids look up to. How do we intend to prevent bullying in the schools if criminals like Jason Kidd are shown as heroes instead of losers?

Let’s not forget the world-renowned pedophile Roman Polanski.  He raped a 14 year-old girl thirty years ago. Can we believe that Polanski molested only one child? I believe that when a monster strikes, it means he’s done it before or he’ll do it again. A pedophile has a taste for young children and he’s likely to continue fulfilling his urge by the mere act, or by relieving himself with child pornography.

But did Hollywood really have to side with Polanski? It was sickening to watch celebrities lining up in support of him. His latest movie “Ghost Writer” was recently released to excellent reviews and his ego has continued to be fed by those who call him a genius… Hitler was also considered a genius. So, even though he is under house arrest, he is still ‘out there’ with his work. Even though he is awaiting trial, he is as free as my friend’s ex fiancée or Jason Kidd.

Our sports stars get away with it, our Hollywood celebrities get away with it and our politicians get away with it as people still kiss their feet, chant their names, hang their pin ups on walls and worship them. So, why wouldn’t John Gardner or my friend’s ex fiancée want to get away with it?

There is a strong link between all these characters; they are all cowards and criminals. None of them showed remorse for their actions or took responsibility for them. They tried to conceal evidence, blamed their partners or their pasts, and some tried to get away with murder.

Honoring the Freudian blood that once rushed through my veins as a member of the Psychoanalytical sphere, I should try to dig into what might have triggered their criminal behavior and give these individuals the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were, abused, bullied, molested or deceived as children. But, nowadays, I don’t really care about what happened to them in their childhood; I am here to take care of my kids’ childhoods. We are responsible for this generation. When I say responsible, I mean it. We should teach our children that some sports and entertainment celebrities are criminals not heroes.

Sadly, greed, ego and unscrupulous ambition, which always translate into millions of dollars, are the number one cause for not doing the right thing. The professionals involved in the John Gardner’s case, the NBA team owners, the corporate sponsors, the big studios behind Polanski, are all as guilty as the individuals behind the criminal act.

I have yet to see someone running for office who would address issues such as child abuse, domestic violence, and deceit, as some of the pivotal points on which to build a healthy society. Maybe then, the number of John Gardners of the world would decrease significantly.

38 Responses to “Not Even with a Rose Petal-by Sandra G.”

  1. laura says:

    Sad issue. Nevertheless, you expose it in a great way the pain and fury we feel as individuals and society, no matter where do you live. Well done Sandra.
    We should bear in mind that most of these personality types can be identified as soon as during childhood, not only punishment is needed (and it is!) but also good education, and I mean education, not only “curriculum studies”, and good welfare services + psychological attention to detect and take care of potential abusers. Also girls have to know what they deserve and should been taught not to give up misunderstanding violence and abuse signs.
    There are lots of misconceptions about masculinity, and violence is only one of them, with it counterpart: feminity as weakness and dependence.
    And of course, until we arrive to that utopian reality, these criminals should have their balls cut off.

    • Andrea Cunningham says:

      I like your comment. Like you I am furious at our legal system that allows these monsters to get away. Yes, there should be movement for these scumbags to have their balls cut off as punishment for their heinous crimes-right after the juges and attorneys that help them get away get castrated themselves. Then let’s see how they like them apples.

    • Monika Morales says:

      I can feel your passion in this article and I 100% agree with you. I enjoyed reading it although it was a difficult topic to digest. Also, I commend you for being unafraid to speak your mind.

      • Sandra G says:

        Thank you Monika. I believe that the only way we can protect our society against these monsters is by becoming all of us a little bit of superheroes and watch over all of our citizens by speaking up. By paying more attention to things that matter, like sexual abuse or domestic violence, and caring less about which celebrity sleeps with whom, the media and law enforcement will shift the focus to the real criminals and away from idiocy.

  2. Thomas Green says:

    As a father of two teenage girls, Chelsea’s story is gut wrenching. I will not allow my daughters to walk or jog or be in a park by themselves. We hear too many horror stories, so young women have to avoid these situations in order to protect themselves since nobody else seems to be protecting them.

  3. Andrea Cunningham says:

    I don’t wish anything bad on innocent people, but if the children or family members all these politicians, sports stars, attorneys and judges were abused or killed by a pedophile or became victims of domestic violence we all know that would be hollering louder than anyone else. They have no interest in the suffering of others that’s why it’s so easy to hand out light sentences, and that’s why it’s so easy to defend these criminals KNOWING that they are guilty, but let it happen to their daughter, sister, mother or any family member that they care about and you bet they would all be rushing to stop these bastards. They’re all guilty for all the Chelseas who have suffered or died in my opinion.

  4. Don Chuchi says:

    After we call these sickos; predators, savages, monsters and all other names we come to understand that cutting their balls off in our politically correct society would only mean “surgical painless removal of their testicles”, just like you, going to the dentist to have a bad tooth removed. With regards to killing them, is not an option that our laws would allow; punishment must be proportionate to the crime. “WE REALLY NEED TO CUT THEIR BALLS AND HEAD OFF, … ON TV”. If not a solution and perhaps a little graphic and old fashion it would make them think twice before they do anything to abuse others. For all of us sane people, is easy to side with you regarding this subject. We should thank the modern media, technology and communication era we live in for the quick arrest of Gardner. He was apprehended because of his record and his proximity to the victim. These are the things we need to focus on and is the moment to start making changes not just to be able to catch these individuals but to prevent these horrible acts to take place. History tells us that criminals were on the loose committing these very same atrocities since the first book was written, only the very famous and those of significant magnitude made it to historical records. Using blogs like yours, informative media programs and internet among other things will help us understand more of the nature of the problem and hope that no one ever again needs to live through events like these.

  5. Carolyn says:

    Right on!

  6. Sandra: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

    Your passion is evident in this post and I couldn’t agree more with your viewpoints. There is an all-out war against women and children in this country and no-one seems to be doing anything about it. The media seems to delight in reporting those heinous crimes and it makes for sensational television, but at what price? Even the criminals realize that if their crimes are horrific enough they can enjoy celebrity-like media attention and for some, it’s worth it. So, I would add the media in their to have their balls and you know what cut off, too.

  7. Matthew Perez says:

    Why Sandra, you bring up quite the point. I remember when news of this disaster was released, and I couldn’t help but think how WE let this happen. We pay our taxes to be safe and happy, but it just doesn’t seem to do it. What else could we do to make living in suburbia comfortable and worry free? Apparently, it looks like there is no hope for a future of stable hapiness and security because these psychos are impossible to control.

  8. Jaqui says:

    Felicitaciones a Sandra, la autora del comentario sobre abusos, en el mes de marzo se conmemoro el dia internacional de la mujer, y aunque no somos las unicas abusadas, esta nota nos hace pensar como la sociedad en conjunto debe poner fin a la impunidad que tienen estos monstruos,me gusta la forma de escribir que tienes denota mucha humanidad.

  9. Sandra G says:

    This is a translation for the comment by Jaqui.

    Congratulations to Sandra the author of this column who writes about abuse against women. In the month of March, we commemorated in Argentina “Women’s International Day”. Even though women are not the only ones who suffer abuse this particular article makes us think that society as a whole should put a stop to the impunity these monsters have. I really like the writing style of this article; it denotes a lot of humanity in it.

  10. Cynthia says:

    “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!!as the Queen of Hearts says!!!
    Don’t get me started SERIOUSLY!!! These ANIMALS should be taught a lesson..NOT glorified and encouraged to rape, blugeon and murder our beautiful children!!!I believe in an EYE for an EYE and give them what they deserve without waiver! These preditors should be publically castrated AND beheaded without doubt! They need to be stopped!!!Why should we let them even sit in jail, do their time and then be released to do it again…and again…again????
    Instead of the glorification… (and really NO CONSEQUENCE for their horrically debased behavior)…lets show them REAL JUSTICE and DO THE RIGHT THING!!
    Think about it…The next victim could be your own child!!!

    • Sandra G says:

      Down right Cynthia! It appalls me how people are more concerned about who Tiger and Jesse have sex with, other than the safety of our society as a whole. If we would pay more attention at the “real offenders”, I’m sure that we would be able to prevent the horrific cases such as Chalsea’s.

  11. Tiffany L. Ayres says:

    Thank you for taking the time to write such an amazing editorial. Cara Knott was the “Chelsea King” of my generation. I was saddened and sickened by what that monster (Craig Peyer) did to her. It left a huge impression on me at the age of 16. One that sparked me to be cautious and aware. I have never pulled over on the side of the road for a police officer. I always keep driving to somewhere safe and public.

    Besides being affected as a member of the community (I did not know Cara or any of the other tragic victims), I am now 24 years older and the mother of 2 young children. It affects you differently when you are a parent.

    It makes me ill to think how many other families have had to endure such devastating and incomprehensible trauma to their families. (Van Dam, Klaas, etc.) I could not believe what your friend had to go through as a victim of domestic violence. Just when you think that women and children are valued members of society …

    Anyway, I just wanted you to know that your article was well written and moving (and sparks anger and action). I hope Chelsea’s Law flies through the legislature and passes. Every word written about these girls, every action and every thought keeps them alive.

    Kind regards,

  12. shampoo says:

    Love the design of this blog. We have to do all we can to make sure Chelsea leaves a legacy and that is to haunt these criminals and potential criminals from the grave. We have to have solid legislation in Chelsea’s name to put them away for good. No three strikes. One strike and they are put out – as in put to death.

  13. Karen says:

    As a mother, an aunt, a god-mother … I too harbor great concerns with the off-handed manner which our judicial system treats these sick-o offenders. It is unbelievable to me that in any society it would be deemed acceptable to release a monster like Gardener back into our communities and neighborhoods … yet, it happens EVERY DAY!

    Friends, the only answer to this is to make yourself heard … write letters and send e-mails to your state and national representatives … perhaps we can make a difference!

  14. Mariano says:

    Nicely presented. We have laws but not good ones to stop these, the only way to change this situation is by pushing for better laws where a “predator” it will not set free with a gps. I love soccer and in soccer the referee judge the intention not the outcome, With that I’m saying that we don’t have to wait until one of this animals attack and kill if we judge that was the intention they should be in jail as murders, not only as child abuse crime, and set them free after few years.
    Think about it

  15. campervan melbourne says:

    I thought that was really informative and it came from the heart. Thanks for the great content. That dog pleaded guilty today and although it doesn’t bring Chelsea back, at least he did not waste the taxpayers money by going through the motion of a fake trial. I’ll keep following this. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  16. WXYZ says:

    I like the title of your blog, ‘Not even with a rose petal’ and the meaning of it. Our women and children are so precious, we really need to up our game with regard to fighting crime against them. We shouldn’t wait until it hits home for us to do something. Congratulations on your efforts to shed even more light on the subject. We never have too much.

  17. Matthew S. says:

    I say we put these men in a locked room with 10 horny donkeys for one week. Let’s see how they would like that!!!!

  18. akcesoria kuchenne says:

    Jamorama i think you have a great site here… today was my first time coming here.. i just happened to find it doing a google search. anyway, great post. may chelsea rest in peace.

  19. sahsushant says:

    there is an all out war against women and children right now and we must do all we can as a nation to snuff it out. our boys are in trouble too. no one seems to care except when it happens in their family or neighborhood. don’t wait for it to be in your backyard. great blog. keep shedding light on these things.

  20. Amy says:

    I agree, but let’s not forget about Amber. She too was a victim of this creep and her parents are heartbroken as well.

    • Sandra G says:

      I was heartbroken when I heard about Amber and enraged to find out that this monster killed her and the authorities did not go deep enough to arrest him a year before. Their fatal oversight cost us another victim.

  21. LISA says:

    Excellent and well written. Thank you for this.

  22. Chanel says:

    Nice post like this with such passion and gumption will definitely keep me coming back to your blog. Congratulations.

  23. dsquared says:

    Just saying thanks will not be adequate for the extraordinary clarity in your writing. I concur with your opinions and will thirstily look forward to reading more of your work.

  24. Stella Jewel says:

    I would like to express my appreciation for your post. That’s really great to know that there are such people like you who do their job very well and with such enthusiasm and passion.

  25. Teehalange says:

    On behalf of all of us that have suffered loss as a result of some criminal’s action, I say ‘thank you’ for your wonderful article. But we must not stop here. We must petition and complain to our politicians and judges and district attorneys and anyone in a position of power. Well done.

  26. D. Blackhurst says:

    predators is one of the best movies , sick but this is just my oppinion tough.

  27. Brenda B. says:

    Such a sweet touching title for a bitter angry topic. The contrast is what makes this so much of a beautiful article thta kept my attention throughout. The comments I agree with. Well done.

  28. Marth Quarles says:

    It’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. Seriously, great job.

  29. Slim says:

    Let’s not forget the media promotes this kind of crime. They always want to get inside the minds of these criminals thus making them famous for their heinous acts. How about getting into the minds of the suffering parents and family members. I wishyou had commented more about the media and their role in it.

  30. Ivan says:

    The time never fits the crime. There are people in prison right now that are serving longer sentences for petty crimes than these sorry excuses for humanity. That’s what we should focus on. Also, everyone has rights except for the victims.

  31. Edith M. says:

    What happened to your friend the domestic violence one.

    • Sandra G says:

      Thanks for your concern. Her petition was denied the first time around. She appealed and she was granted a temporary restraining order. However, it did not go on his record. One way or the other he got away with it, and she is still stunned and scared.

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