MEDIA JERKS – 2010’s Most Annoying


By Sandra Lord and Allison Lord – Caribbean (read bios) with contributions by Sandra Glushankoff Argentinian (read bio)

THE MOST ANNOYING MEDIA PERSONALITIES OF 2010:

• Nancy Grace-Glenn Beck-Rush Limbaugh &  Bill O’ReillyNancy Pelosi • Perez Hilton • Kate Gosselin • Gloria Allred Tiger Woods & Jesse James • Sarah Palin

Tired of sanctimonious media talking heads, unscrupulous and opportunistic politicians, no talent celebrities and self-made nobodies? So are we! Here is our list of 2010’s most annoying media personalities – media jerks – whom we think should have been “tarred and feathered” for their shenanigans in 2010. They will appear in no particular order as the level of annoyance is about the same for all.

THE MOST ANNOYING MEDIA PERSONALITIES OF 2010

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

Nancy Grace, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly:

The Three Stooges/Curly, Larry and Moe + One. However, what binds these four oddballs together is everything that is not genius. Grace, Beck, Limbaugh and O’Reilly are the epitome of today’s mean-spirited talk show hosts who seem to delight in their extraordinary ability to polarize the American people (er, despite the “extraordinary ability” part, this is not a compliment, guys), and their skill in the use of drama and theatrics to spew self-indulgent garbage on a daily basis. With the mistaken notion that they alone are the arbiters of truth, justice and liberty…oh, and let’s not forget American pride, these four angry, insecure, narcissistic loudmouths take the cake for belittling and berating their guests to show who can best shoot opposing viewpoints into oblivion. This grouping reminds us of a charming little saying we learned while growing up in the Caribbean, “Empty vessels make the most noise.” For us, listening to these yell and scream is akin to getting one’s wisdom teeth pulled…with no painkillers. Ayayay!! Funny thing is, while they love to denigrate, intimidate and dish it out to any and everybody, they have a haaaaaard time taking criticism. Our advice – they should each get a copy of Beck’s little book, “Arguing with Idiots,” and have a conversation with the mirror.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

NANCY PELOSI
(by Sandra Gluschankoff)
:

In 2007, Nancy Pelosi made history when she was elected the first woman to serve as Speaker of the House. However, in December 2010, there is an old phrase which sums up Nancy Pelosi’s political career in the Democratic Party: she has, to put it bluntly, “overstayed her welcome.” Get a clue woman! When your own people fear your presence at their public appearances when running for office, as if you were jinxed,  you have overstayed your welcome. When your popularity amongst registered voters plummets to 29 percent, as it was the case in this past November elections, it means it’s time to wrap up the show, hit the road and put a new face to the Democratic Party. No, we are not talking about another plastic surgery on Pelosi’s much worked on facial features, but somebody who not only should get in touch with voters but also with the President – a much damaged relationship where she strives passionately to make him lose more popularity than he already had. We view Pelosi’s dramatic fall, as a spinoff of the “Wizard of Oz.” She has taken a whole house down with her and is momentarily living in Lala Land. Hopefully during her new appointment as House Minority leader, she will get a brain, a heart, and courage to finally realize that her time in her current “party” has ran out. We do have a suggestion for Nancy though. Her unmoving facial expressions do make her a good contender in a tight race with Joan Rivers, to be the speaker for a popular party – the Tupperware Party.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

PEREZ HILTON:

Mario Armando Lavandeira is a man so desperate to maintain an identity in the spotlight, he will apparently do anything, and at anyone’s expense, to achieve that. If you don’t know whom we are talking about, it’s the self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media,” Perez Hilton, a failed actor who luckily stumbled upon the next best thing that would at least allow him to be a part of the celebrity culture – gossipmongering.  His shtick? Write about the celebrities whom he would like to be, disparage/vilify those who dismiss him as an idiot, and ingratiate himself to those with whom he can hang out so he can be a celebitchy by association. Genius! But where Perez fails is in his petty, nasty personal attacks against people whom he believes have done him wrong and in his unceasing quest to “out” closeted gay celebs. Never mind that his “closet” may have a lot worse than the horrible clothes he wears. Never mind that he runs a low-class site filled with demeaning tabloid photos accompanied by infantile sexual doodles and captions. Never mind that he cries like a banshee when celebs attack him back. He just doesn’t want to report the tabloid news anymore, he wants to be the news.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

KATE GOSSELIN:

It isn’t because she dances with two left feet or makes iRobot look like Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers that Kate Gosselin has made our 2010 Media Jerks list. We are just sick of Kate using her kids to further her so called “career.” Her constant need to be in the limelight and present herself as some kind of “star” or “diva” will make her do anything to maintain the celebrity lifestyle that she is obsessed with and tag it onto “providing” for her ‘Plus 8.’ But some of us are just not buying her act and don’t understand how more people can’t see through it. After all, this is the same angry, controlling shrew that berated and emasculated her husband, Jon, on their TLC show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. She has no discernible talent except that if it weren’t for a successful union of sperm, uterus, ovaries, egg and more sperm, we wouldn’t have known the Gosselins existed. As for her constant complaint that the paparazzi won’t leave her alone, well, we think they’re starting to respect her wishes, as the tabloids seem to have lost interest, as has the public. Kate has made enough money off her books and appearances that should allow her to just go away already!

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

GLORIA ALLRED:

The fall of an icon. It happens more times than we can imagine, and we start wondering… How? Picture it: a skanky mistress is wronged by her “John,” a philandering celebrity husband, loaded with $$$$. Hey, what’s that on the broom in the sky coming to the rescue?? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman?? No, wait! It’s super-media hog attorney, Gloria Allgreed! We used to admire Gloria Allred, the remarkable attorney and tireless crusader of women’s rights, who also fought against discrimination of any kind. Those were the days! Gloria is still leading the fight, BUT her carefully crafted reputation for justice has practically been reduced to defending home wreckers and mistresses. Gloria has virtually glorified the “other woman” – lowlifes in our opinion, who have contributed to the destruction of marriages and public humiliation of wives – giving them a voice, celebrity status, and worst of all financial (wink) “compensation.” Is it the money Gloria, that would make a respectable lawyer who fought the right fight for the right women, to give up her prestigious title of “justice icon” for the title of “media jerk?”

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

TIGER WOODS & JESSE JAMES:

In 2010, Tiger and Jesse headed a long list of cheating celebrity scumbags whose multiple extra marital affairs (a) humiliated their unsuspecting wives in the mass media (b) made ‘celebrity mistress’ a lucrative, highly sought-after profession and (c) left the public saying an incredulous, “huh??” Tiger shot a tee right between the eyes of his wife (and mother of his two kids), Elin. And Jesse, well, Jesse just outright blindsided Sandra Bullock as he rubbed tattoos with others of the same “ink”. Unfortunately, many more Jesse James and Tiger Woods types are steadily coming out of the woodwork, ‘outed’ by questionable bed partners who, on their best day, couldn’t hold a candle to their spouses. Regrettably, The names of these two jerks have now become synonymous with serial cheating of epic proportions and what’s even worse is that this kind of behavior no longer seems to have any stigma attached. What a sad commentary on where we are headed as a society!

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

SARAH PALIN:

This one’s a no-brainer. Watching her play politics makes us just want to pull our hair extensions out! Yikes!!  Palin is one of those annoying people whom we describe in the Caribbean as “talking loud and saying nothing.” When you look beneath the surface of her manic beaming, there’s really nothing, except an uncanny ability to gleefully divide a whole nation and a penchant for personally attacking others while crying foul when the shoe’s on the other foot. Two years after being introduced to the world, Palin (a) still comes across as misinformed (b) still seems to outdo herself in the idiocy department with each public appearance or statement and (c) has yet to answer a question directly, as she meanders more than the “long and winding road that leads to nowhere.” Moreover, the quintessential stalker of fame seems to be indecisive as to whether she wants to be a TV personality or politician. She should stop “moosing” around with the American people and just go away. But, to all those who want to put Sarah Palin in the White House as Leader of the Free World (ouch!!), we ask, are we so desperate for a female presidential candidate that we will latch onto mediocrity and ruin the chances of other more qualified candidates around?  Let’s not forget (as we also say in the Caribbean), “you can put a pig in a palace, it’s still a pig”…lipstick and all.

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR FOR THE 2011 MEDIA JERKS!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

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