A Question of Friendship, A Matter of Integrity – By Sandra Lord

By SANDRA LORD — Caribbean (read bio)

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

When I see the Real Housewives of any city or state, or any of the other reality TV shows whose very success thrives on drama replete with backstabbing, jealousy, envy, division and the destruction of friendship/relationships, I have to ask, WHAT does “friendship” mean these days?

Whenever I read or hear about a source “close” to a celebrity or public figure revealing privileged information to tabloid media, I cringe. Who are these close sources? Surely they must be people who are trusted enough to be in that person’s inner circle. Doesn’t that in itself count for something? Whatever happened to loyalty, as in “I got your back,” to those people whom we call friends?

Meaningful friendship — you know, the type exemplified in the beautiful lyrics of the Golden Girls theme song that starts with, “Thank you for being a friend…your heart is true you’re a pal and a confidant…” or what Dionne Warwick meant when she crooned, “That’s what friends are for… knowin’ you can always count on me for sure…in good times, and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more,” or Simon & Garfunkel with “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” or Carole King with “You’ve Got A Friend” — seems to be dying a slow, painful death.

Nowadays, as everyone fights to get into the spotlight by any means necessary, these great lyrical expressions of gratitude, loyalty and unflinching support go out the window faster than Heidi Montag will go under a plastic surgeon’s knife.

As a society we’ve become so “me-oriented,” people are selling “friendship” up the river for fame, money, a roll in the hay, immunity from legal trouble and every selfish justifiable reason under the sun — losing their souls in the process.

As a child, I remember going to the movies and seeing characters give up information about their friends for a few dollars. I couldn’t fathom that. However, as an adult, I have realized that fiction is not far from reality.

I don’t take the word “friend” lightly. For me, friendship is a very precious thing that cannot be manipulated or bought.

Having grown up in the spotlight myself, I have always been cautious about the agendas of those eager to form a friendly alliance. And although I developed good radar to separate the wheat from the chaff, I’ve suffered my share of betrayals, too.

So, how do you determine who is good friend material? Who do you trust these days?

Everyone faces these challenging questions whether they’re a celebrity or a regular Joe the Plumber.

Over the years I have developed several gauges, which have served me well:

** Anyone who says something behind their friend’s back that they won’t say to their face, you should, as we say in the Caribbean, “feed with a long spoon.”

** Anyone who talks about you in an unfavorable light behind your back is not your friend.

** Anyone who covertly divulges confidential information about his or her “good friend” to you or a third party should also be kept at arms length. If they do it to their “good friend,” they will inevitably do it to you.

** Anyone you’ve invited into your social circle and who tries to insinuate themselves into the lives of your friends, i.e., tries to “steal” your friends or contacts, you should avoid like the plague.

** Anyone who is jealous of you or covets your social status, lifestyle, job, accomplishments, talents and abilities, friends, boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife should be kept at bay. Jealousy is a cancer that inevitably brings death to the best of friendships.

** Anyone who competes with you, tries to control you, resents or abuses you, takes pleasure in criticizing you, shows you up or puts you down, takes you for granted, takes advantage of you, always puts their time and needs ahead of yours, is never there for you, discourages your dreams, or brings out the worst in you, should be avoided at all costs.

If any friend is guilty of any of the above you should get rid of that toxic relationship pronto.

I’m not saying that your true friends shouldn’t criticize you, but denigrating criticism, or even excessive flattery for that matter, based on a hidden agenda, is not a good component for true friendship.

My mother raised my sisters and me to be each other’s best friends. She didn’t encourage friendships outside the family circle. Let’s just say that mom didn’t much care for faultfinders, gossips and backbiters associating with and poisoning her kids. Being a large family, my mom’s strategy although not flawless, for the most part worked well enough for us. Over the years, as I observed deception and betrayal between so-called friends, I realized that mom was onto something.

So, it’s not surprising that I am very particular about whom I call “friend” and even more picky about “close friend.” I have very few. Nonetheless, the subject of “friendship” has always fascinated me.

I’ve heard it said that some people come into your life for a season, others for a reason and others for a lifetime. But how do “fair-weather friends” fit into this scenario?

When I think of MC Hammer and how he was virtually abandoned by his “friends” when he encountered a financial crisis, I wonder “under what label did these people come into his life” – a season, a reason? From all accounts, Hammer was generous to a fault to the hundreds of hangers-on on his payroll, but as soon as things hit the financial skids, everyone scattered. The hypocrisy still boggles my mind.

Then there’s Gayle and Oprah. They seem to fall into the category of those friends that connect with you for life – the ones that the writers talk about in those famous “friends forever” songs I highlighted earlier.

I think Gayle and Oprah have the friend thing down pat. The fact that people question their friendship or have a hard time wrapping their brains around it is amazing to me. That only tells me something about the naysayers because those who understand and truly respect the concept of deep friendship admire the dynamic duo. I’m sure they have their spats, but these are two friends who seem to have all the key ingredients in place – open communication, respect, support, loyalty, appreciation, trust, and no doubt will take many a secret to their graves. They also demonstrate something I’ve always believed, that you CAN mix business with friendship.  While Gayle and Oprah both have other friends, I am sure no one can replace them in each other’s life. Every time Oprah says “my best friend, Gayle,” to the world, I love it! Despite the huge package that comes with the Oprah brand, I can clearly see how the friendship is on even keel…no easy feat, but testimony to both of their values.

Friendships like these are ultra-special. Star Jones puts them in another category in her book, “You Have to Stand for Something or You’ll Fall for Anything.” In one chapter she talks about “Who’s Gonna Drive The Broncho?” which references Al Cowlings and his famous loyal support of OJ Simpson. Who would you call if you were in some serious trouble – who would put their life on the line for you? Like someone once said, who you gonna call if you wake up in a foreign country with a dead hooker in your bed?

That brings me to the next question, who’s in YOUR inner circle? Do you have friends on whom you can depend no matter what, or are your friends of the caliber described by the poet below?

Have many friends and treat them well
But never to them your secrets tell
For when your friends become your foe
All over the world your secrets go

The advice in that poem is not to be taken lightly, but there are many gems waiting to show true friendship to others…you just have to find them.

And when you find those true friends, you will see that they celebrate who you are, believe in you, uplift and encourage you and are happy when you succeed. They empower you and bring out the best in you and vice versa. Iron sharpens iron.

Take the time and effort to nurture those relationships. Sometimes when someone hurts or offends us, we can be tempted to disconnect — give the other person the silent treatment and pull back.  But once you realize the value of what you have, including open, honest communication with no negative agenda, it will be easy to forgive and forget, for true friends are few and far between.

Finally, after all is said, as you are gauging others, give yourself the same test.

How do you compare as a friend? What kind of friend are YOU?

85 Responses to “A Question of Friendship, A Matter of Integrity – By Sandra Lord”

  1. Palasik says:

    I would like to say thnkx for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I am hoping the same high-grade blog posts from all of you in the upcoming months as well. In fact your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my own blog now. Blogging is really spreading its wings quickly. Your write up is a good example of it. Congratulations.

  2. Russell Ulkowski says:

    Hi there! Is it OK if I go a bit off topic? I’m trying to view your website on my Blackberry but it doesn’t display properly, do you have any suggestions? Thanks for the help I hope! Russell

  3. Beshear says:

    This post has inspired me to reevaluate my relationships and try to be a better friend. Thank you.

  4. Unstoppable says:

    I get your point but no one’s perfect, we all fall short as friends.

  5. Cupcake says:

    Another homerun!

  6. Zahara says:

    Big Oprah and Gayle fan, but why you put Gayle’s name before Oprah? Oprah is way bigger than Gayle and deserves that respect.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Hi Zahara. People’s socio-economic status is not important to me – character and overrides all. Yes, Oprah is big and powerful, but Gayle is an integral part of the “Oprah” we know today. So, to me, in the matter of friendship, they are equal and it doesn’t matter whose name goes first. You, too, shouldn’t give a flying fig about these trivial things.

  7. Megaman says:

    As a man I’ve gone through my betrayals – both as the victim and the one being dishonest. Your article makes me want to be a better friend.

  8. Lyle says:

    Hammer was a show off like so many other black dudes that get a chance in the music business. I don’t feel sorry for him. Oprah and Gayle are lesbos. I’d like to be a fly on their wall. LOL :-)

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Lyle, by adding the “race” factor, that statement about Hammer is just plain asinine. Shame on you! The one about Gayle and Oprah is not much better either. You’re lucky I don’t have a fly swatter handy!

  9. Lakita in Indiana says:

    Where have you been girlfriend? I miss your posts. I love love love this article. It’s my favorite so far. I am grateful that I have many many good friends I can count on. I am a very loyal friend too. There’s nothing like family you get along with and good friends that no amount of money can buy. Very special article. I’ll share with my friends.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Hi Lakita. It’s always good to hear your comments, even the times I may not agree with them. :-) I’m glad you like this article on friendship and I congratulate you on being a loyal friend to your friends. I hope they appreciate you too. Continue supporting this blog and thank you for passing this article along to your friends and others.

  10. PT says:

    My mother flirted with all of my boyfriends and my best friend slept with my husband and had a child. I have only had friends that you warned about in your post and don’t know what its like to have a true friend so go figure.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      PT, with friends and family like these who needs enemies? I have a BIG problem with friends having affairs with each other’s boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife. To me that’s an absolute “no-no.” So, you can imagine the disgust I feel when it’s family, and worse, when it’s a parent! But, when you keep attracting the same negative people in your life, there is a time when you have to sit back and examine what’s really going on with you. You deserve better friends, but you have to decide that for yourself and how you are going to break the pattern. Thanks for your comment and best wishes.

    • costas says:

      @PT omg sorry but your mamma’s just nasteeee. good riddance.

  11. Cassy says:

    Sandra, I enjoyed this post so much. It related to me on many levels. Thank you. I took the friendship test and I am proud to say that I passed with flying colors.

  12. Peanuckle22 says:

    al cowlings was an a$$h*le and i’m sure regrets helping oj but i would really like friends like him in my corner if i ever get in trouble :-)

  13. Simeon says:

    well done, sandra. this is a great expose on friendship.

  14. Berphia Owens says:

    Anyone who says something behind their friend’s back that they won’t say to their face, you should, as we say in the Caribbean, “feed with a long spoon.” WELL SAID.

  15. Switcheroo says:

    I’ve had good friends and bad friends. I treat them as they treat me so I’m whatever friend my friends want me to be and that works just fine. I ain’t judging nobody.

  16. Samantha Rutledge says:

    Who’s Gonna Drive the Broncho, I love it! Don’t like Starr but I must get that book. Great article by the way.

  17. Alfred W. says:

    I love this article, it’s the best I’ve read on friendship, platonic relationships and relationships overall. Congratulations on a job well done.

  18. Marie R (Canada) says:

    Your article is well written and so relevant, I am happy Angel sent me the link to your blog. I’ve been raised on the golden rule principle of ‘do unto others as you would have them do unto you’. It is sad that the mindset of today’s society has undergone a major paradigm shift, it is now ‘screw others before they screw you’. Loyalty, integrity, honor, love, and respect are now lost virtues and the era of self empowerment has evolved into self gratification at the expense of others. Yes, a true friend is a very rare commodity, very precious and we should all strive to be that special gem in the lives of others. Contrary to what many think, being real, true, honest, generous, selfless, kind and forgiving is not the trait of weakness or stupidy, but is the fruit of true self empowerment and the evidence of an impeccable character … much to be desired in a true friendship.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Marie R in Canada, thank you for your wonderful comment – very well said. There are a couple statements you made that really resonated with me – “the era of self empowerment has evolved into self gratification at the expense of others” sums it all up. And to your other statement, “being real, true, honest, generous, selfless, kind and forgiving is not the trait of weakness or stupidity,” I say, if people think otherwise, then I’d like to have that kind of stupidity in abundance. Thank you again for your insightful comment.

    • Jeremiah says:

      I agree with you, but some of my friends have a different interpretation of the golden rule – he who has the gold rules. I know I have to get some new friends because they definitely don’t bring out the best in me.

  19. GoodCanuck says:

    Well done, this blog is very enlightening. I’m sure everyone knows a person that is not completely trustowrthy. Reading this really helps identify those complicaated issues regarding friendships.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Glad to be of help regarding those complicated issues concerning friendships. It’s all a learning experience. Many thanks for your comment. :-)

  20. zorbaman says:

    In Reading this, Sandra, I had the SAME thoughts about how flimsy those friendships are when greed enters the picture and folks get paid to reveal things that they had originally been entrusted with. That’s why true friends are a rare gift indeed.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog says:

      Unlike what Michael Douglas said in “Wall Street,” greed is never good. It is always a sad day when greed brings about betrayal. Thanks for the comment.

  21. LUISROMERO195 says:

    The best post I read in a long time because of it’s universal appeal. Keep this beautiful blog going Thank you.

  22. Gwen B. says:

    I find most people are fair weather friends. They don’t make them like Oprah and Gail anymore.

  23. Matthew M. says:

    There should be a National Friends Day like the ones for secretaries, etc. I bet that would make more people appreciate their friends.

    • Sandra G. says:

      Hi Matthew:
      In Argentina we celebrate “National Friends Day” on July 20th. Besides being a highly profitable day for restaurateurs, bar, and club owners, it’s pretty neat to see the amount of people getting together to celebrate. Truthfully, we don’t need many reasons in Argentina to get together with our friends. Meetings and outings are very spontaneous; I don’t ever remember having to pull out a calendar to see when I was going to be available for a friend.

  24. celebration says:

    You wrote with just the right amount of humor on such a special topic. I lOVE the little picture of the two best friends forever. Cute. But I really love the poem at the end talking about not sharing secrets with others because when they become your enemy they spill the beans on you. That’s what I experienced and it ain’t pretty. But I’m alright now.

  25. Natasha says:

    Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. In some cases it’s the same difference. :-)

  26. ME says:

    Excellent, excellent work, long over due as today we really do not appreciate true friendship. Greed and envy has replaced all values and integrity.


    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Thank you. On our dying beds, greed and envy will not bring us comfort – only the nearness of good friends and family.

  27. huggies says:

    Sandra Lord, you rock girl! I didn’t know you could write like that. I love it.

  28. Cynthia S. says:

    My best friend Samantha and I have been friends since third grade and it’s one of the most amazing relationships ever. I don’t know what I would do without Sam. We’ve seen each other through thick and thin, pain and suffering as well as tremendous highs and although people and family have tried to cause problems between us our friendship has endured. There’s nothing like true friendship and i’m happy you addressed it in a way that forces us to look at our friends and ourselves.

  29. spiritualview says:

    Good article! While I appreciated your evaluation of the subject, I can’t help but to reflect on Peter, James & John the inner “three” – – friends of Jesus Christ. While Judas betrayed him, the others did not have the heart to stand with him. Peter did not betray him, but he did abandon & deny knowing him. Jesus knew, but said “after you have recovered . . . ” there was hope and he did exactly as Jesus knew he would. Peter succeeded. He sterlingly proved to become one of Jesus’ most trustworthy friends (outstanding Christian leader) and John was entrusted with Jesus’ mother as he was dying. People are imperfect, but there are some good ones that emerge friendship-wise as timeless.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Many thanks for your comment. It surely puts a different but important slant on the comments here. I agree that people are imperfect and forgiveness is essential in fostering good relationships, but sometimes the writing is on the wall with some toxic people and we choose not to see and read it. For me, I believe (as some notable people have said) sometimes “when people show you who they are the first time, believe them.” I listen to my gut feelings when I decide if to “feed with a long spoon,” move on, or give a second chance like Jesus gave Peter and others. Jesus also asked us to use wisdom in everything we do.

    • anecdote annie says:

      I’m with you. Even Jesus was betrayed. He forgave. Even if someone made some bad judgments, if it the friendship is worth it, it can be salvaged. Relationships are about give and take, communication and mistakes and forgiveness. The best friendships have had their trials as I’m sure Oprah and Gayle will tell you. It’s not all peachy creamy with these two honey.

  30. nutritious says:

    Great article and I really like the cute little friendship image.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Thank you. We have a fabulous artist who captures the essence of the things we talk about here in our blogs. I’ll pass along your comment.

  31. Romantic Sam says:

    I married my best friend. She is all the things you said a friend should be and more.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Good for you Romantic Sam. I love your name! :-) At the end of the day, your friendship is what’s going to carry you forward well into your rocking chairs. I wish you and your lady the very best.

  32. Moniquah says:

    Thank you for your beautifully written article. My relationships were really very toxic so one day late last year I thought of the old saying, with friends like these who needs enemies and I made those decisions you talk about as my 2010 new years resolution. I ended up kicking all of them out of my life and you can’t imagine the positive changes in my life. I wish I had done that years ago. Anyhoo, I have less friends now, just a few, some new and a few old acquaintances that have developed into friends but they’re wonderful and they appreciate me as much as I appreciate them. Keep this wonderful blog going to continue to reeinforce people like me.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Good for you, Moniquah! More people should make these New Year’s resolutions – start the year fresh, without the toxic baggage. I’m glad you now see that it’s not the quantity of friends you have, but the quality. One really good friend can replace a thousand acquaintances or fairweather friends. Nurture your new friendships and remember to be a good friend in return.

    • what would you do says:

      To @Moniquah what a great idea. That’s going to be on my New Years list 2011. Off with the old and on with the new. I’m too young and cute and nice to deal with these losers anymore.

  33. Christina says:

    What you said in this article is exactly what I feel in my soul! My experiences in business and personally have oftentimes suprised me by the disappointing behavior of those who I gave my best to and whom I thought I could trust. Had I used your guidlines for friends and 86’d the toxic ones, my life as I know it today would be so much better. The damage that toxic, disloyal, and/or selfish friends can do to a person’s life is disastrous! My life is proof.

    I wish everyone thought like you. Like the song says,
    “What a wonderful world it would be…”

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Christina, thank you so much for your comment. The people who hurt, betrayed and disappointed you are the losers, not you. The good thing is your eyes have been opened and believe it or not, you are now in a better place. Your life doesn’t have to be proof of such negatives anymore. You can move on in a positive light and be proof to others that they can, too. All the best to you.

    • jamie says:

      Betrayal is a biatch but we just dust ourselves off and move on. You are better off knowing the people you trusted are dogs than not knowing.

  34. Lela says:

    I’m glad you talked about the great friendship between Oprah and Gayle because I for one don’t think they are lesbians. It really makes me sad that you cannot have a great close relationship with your girlfriend without people thinking you are gay. To me that just says alot about the society we live in today.

  35. Debbie says:

    Such profound thoughts expressed. Friends should not be measured in quantity but the weight of their character. “Friends” is such a casual word now. People brag about how many “friends” they have on facebook. But, how many in the future will wish they had not posted treasured information about themselves to individuals whose loyalty and character had not been tested through life. To have at least one friend who is more loyal than family, more trustworthy than a holy man and more constant than the sun rising, is truly blessed.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      I couldn’t have said it better. Thank you for YOUR profound thoughts on the matter. :-)

    • JP Hernandez says:

      I really like your comment on the Facebook angle something that should have been addressed in this blog. People are too free with the personal information they share with their “friends” on the social networking sites. These are the same “friends” that turn on them to spoil their reputation. I learned the hard way and I also agree with the poem about not telling “friends” your secrets because once the friendship ends so does the secret keeping.

  36. Lucette (Switzerland) says:

    I have travelled all over the world to teach on communication. I find this article deep and relevant to many cultures. It should be translated in French, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, German… and there is not enough places here to say it all. Thank you Sandra! For myself, I will now be more careful on two aspects of friendship: naming someone my friend and being myself a better friend.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed the article. Thank you for the kind comments. Friendship is indeed a universal concept and if others could have the opportunity to read this article in the various languages you mentioned (French, Chinese, Spanish, Italian, German, etc.) I would be very happy. Also, I like the two aspects of friendship you mentioned you’ll be careful on in the future – naming someone your friend and being a better friend yourself. With your statement and other comments here, I believe my article has accomplished its goal — to make people think and re-evaluate. Thank you and all the best. :-)

  37. delited says:

    I like all of these blogs but yours and Kaz the best. You write with passion and depth and humor. Friendship is something I think most people don’t “get” from my experience. I would dearly love to have a good friend like you mentioned in the Golden Girls song but I have not been so lucky…yet. I’m still hopeful and the good thing is now I have a great guide to help me spot the good ones. Thank you and keep up the good work here with the friends that blog here with you.

  38. Kessell@ says:

    Excellent Web site! I like your article but I wish you talked about friendship in regards to bullying at school and how your friends don’t stand up for you and pretend they don’t know you just so they fit in.

    • Sandra Lord: Co-Founder of this Blog Site says:

      Kessell, the bloggers on this blog site are deeply troubled by bullying in the schools and one of us is going to write about it. I think friends who do not stand up for each other when it’s not the popular thing to do are not worth the time of day. If your friends are doing this to you, I pray that you will make new friends who will appreciate you. As someone else said here, “with friends like these, who needs enemies?” I know you probably think it’s easy for me to say because I am not in the situation, but, honestly, you are better off without people like that in your life. I don’t know your age or if you are at at school, but if you are at school and having problems, I encourage you to tell your parents so they can contact the appropriate authorities. Also, honestly, do you want to be friends with people who treat others the way they treat you? You deserve better so you can go on to fulfill your fullest potential in life. All the best. Please let us know how your progress.

    • Marilyn says:

      Beautifully put, Sandra.
      It gives great food for thought, as so many of us fall short of being a true friend, even though we strive to be a great friend. I shall take a closer look at what kind of friend I am.

    • boohoo2u says:

      Kessell you need to take some karate classes and kick some a$$. Don’t be a coward. Stand up and claim your value. You are better than these turds. And your friends, you need to stop depending on them so that way you won’t be disappointed. Make new friends. Do some extra curricular activities that don’t involve your schoolmates, focus on your class work and plan your future.

  39. SPwrite says:

    What a beautiful post!! It made me think of a quote by Emerson that my dad would say to us kids growing up: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” Just as with all things in life, there is a certain amount of effort that is required to build a great friendship. It’s important to have some give and take. Sometimes, more will be asked of you, and sometimes, when you need a hand, you will do the asking. The balance sheet of a true friendship is pretty equal in the long run. If you’re always the one making deposits and getting little in return, or if you treat your friends like ATMS that you can draw on their energy and strength, but don’t have to put anything back, those are the kinds of friendships that just aren’t going to work. Happily, I can tell everyone reading this blog that Sandra lives what she writes — she’s an outstanding friend who is kind and considerate and thoughtful and fiercely loyal to those who have earned her love and trust. I am honored and blessed to have her as a friend. When i read this article, I really wanted people to know that she writes this post with great integrity.

    • Cameron1969 says:

      I particularly like your statement “The balance sheet of a true friendship is pretty equal in the long run. If you’re always the one making deposits and getting little in return, or if you treat your friends like ATMS that you can draw on their energy and strength, but don’t have to put anything back, those are the kinds of friendships that just aren’t going to work. ” Thank you for that pearl of wisdom. I will use that as well as Sandra’s other suggestions to ‘gauge’ and develop my friendships.

  40. Sparky says:

    Glad that you mentioned M.C. Hammer. Whatever happened to him? I hope he has better friends these days. :-)

  41. Mexicali Hot Dog says:

    Thanks for your wordds of wisdom and the friendship guide. I’ll definitely use them.

  42. International Flair says:

    Dear Sandra, your mother was smart to encourage friendships between you and your siblings. In a large family that certainly can go real far. Your family is lovely and such a joy to be around.

  43. Nicolas Nelle says:

    Excellent! Excellent! Sandra,
    Your compassionate words resonate in my heart. We must value and cherish the ties of friendship we have forged with others. Friendship is the greatest of treasure.
    The Spanish playwright Pedro de la Braca penned these lines for one of his character, ” Will you repay a friend who has shown you trust, friendship and courtesy with ingratitude?”
    Now, we live in an age where people allow themselves to become motivated solely by fame, money and power. Living a self-centered life, they lose their humanity. In an age where people have lost the spiritual richness, honesty and sincerity. Thus, their hearts have become desolate and empty, ungrateful and unappreciative due to a lack a of profound life philosophy.
    As Daisaku Ikeda, a Buddhist philosopher, an educator and prolific writer said: ” Expressions of thanks and appreciation strengthen ties of trust and friendship. It’s no exaggeration to say that a person’s character can be measured by how freely they’re able to thank and express gratitude to others.”
    A wise man wrote these words in praise to Mothers:

    Ode to mothers,
    may you be happy
    for all your days.

    Thank you.

    Nicolas N.

    • mooncrest says:

      Nicolas your comments touched my heart and soul. Such beautiful words have rarely been spoken in such a profound manner. And your ode to mothers was the pinnacle. You must be a true friend and son. Be blessed.

  44. Downtown Millie says:

    Matthew I really like the idea for the national friendship day idea. My friends we should do this in America.

  45. hiphop cool says:

    the carricartures are really good on your blog.

  46. sure nuff says:

    Are you kiddin didn’t you see Oprah and Gayle camping? Wake up and smell the Tried and true muff puffs. LOL

  47. chiwawa1968 says:

    a beautiful expose on friendship. I’m with Mexicali Hotdog, I’ll use the tips for sure.

  48. Jade says:

    Wow! This post just opens my eyes and warms my heart. The sincerity of the comments are deeply appreciated too. In an age where people miss the essence of the true meaning of friendship, I thank you. Thank you.

  49. William Auto says:

    Yeah, I am quite interested in your blogsite. I really like your post alot and the animation is juts great. Keep up the good work ladies 😀

  50. R. Thomas says:

    Sandra thank you for such an insightful blog. This applies not only to friendships but to any relationship. You gals do a great job here, so keep up the good work.

  51. martha says:

    I pride myself on a good sense of friendship good and bad but your post gave me some extra tips I could use myself.

  52. orangejulius says:

    Excellent Sandra. Well done.

  53. Ryan S. says:


  54. Very touching article… When I read the line “Who’s gonna drive the Bronco?,” it struck a deep chord in me. It’s a great succinct summary of what a deep friendship is in the end. Who would drive it for me? Whom would I drive it for?

    I think that I, and so many of us, too often get caught up in petty irritations with the “friends” we are around the most. But in the end — whether I see them weekly or only touch base once a year for whatever reason — would I drive the Bronco for them? Would they for me? Would I put myself on the line for them if they were in trouble? Would they for me?

    It’s a great guiding question. Very insightful. Thanks for quoting Star Jones and spreading the word… I’m gonna post it on Facebook.

    Much love to you ladies.

    Melody Jackson, Ph.D.

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